When I reflect on this book, I think of one word: Grace. It’s a story where many things go wrong, but then there are moments of miraculous blessings. Where people are given second chances after making poor decisions, and some are given the ultimate gift of life after looking death right in the eye. Unfortunately, it’s a story where the unthinkable happens, the death of children-innocents-and it reminds me of the lyrics from Hamilton, after Alexander’s son is killed:
There are moments that the words don’t reach
There is a Grace too powerful to name
We push away what we can never understand
We push away the unimaginable
Ultimately, I consider the grace with which Harpham weaves several stories that tell how she became the mother of a very sick little girl, how she fought for her with all her might, and how through a great deal of suffering and countless moments of despair, she found happiness, in spite of everything stacked against that outcome.
This book is a memoir in which Harpham deftly describes how she became pregnant with her daughter, Gracie, how this strained her relationship with Gracie’s father, Brian; a man who although loving her deeply, was terrified of parenthood and walked away from their relationship during the pregnancy (the worst I know, but Harpham tells the story so beautifully and with such clarity that you almost see where he’s coming from. Almost.) Once Gracie is born, it’s clear that she is sick, she must undergo regular blood transfusions to keep her alive. What follows is a beautiful story of hope, love, strength, heartbreak and resiliency as this little clan goes through setbacks and surprises to make Gracie well.
What I really loved about this story is Harpham’s ability to understand other people, to forgive and connect with them in a way many of us simply are not capable of. She’s able to see her own pain, her own unlucky hand, and still find goodness and offer kindness to others. While the book’s title is Happiness, so hopefully it doesn’t spoil anything to say it has a happy ending, she points out that going through this experience doesn’t make her immune to future sadness. I find that a very brave way to look at the world.
This is a great book for someone looking for a very moving story, who is not afraid to cry a good deal while reading it. Harpham’s writing is seriously top-notch and she is a gifted story-teller, I could not put this one down because I had to know what was happening in this little world, to this family and the people who surrounded them. If you are looking for a book about family, grit, and love, this one is for you.
Happiness: The Crooked Little Road to Semi-Ever After by Heather Harpham
Published on: August 1, 2017
I read this as: a library book
This book was not what I thought it was going to be at all. It started almost as a superficial take on motherhood (it’s hard y’all!), but turns into this beautiful dissertation on the happenstance of life, family, and race relations in America.
to enjoy a psychological thriller: the fast-paced story that you can’t put down and that everyone is talking about; they’re just good reads, even if there are holes/weird endings/characters acting unbelieveably. Which is to say, most psychological thrillers.
day at the beach. The book progresses in exploring every emotion a mother would go through in the desperate search for her baby. Ultimately this book is about the pain of this loss, Maloney thoughtfully weaves the experience through stories and interactions as Maddy tries to find reason while enduring unspeakable heartbreak. The book really does explore what this experience would be like: would you even want to live? Could you stand looking at happy families together? Could you find the strength to use your experience to help others?